I have a facebook, snapchat, instagram, pinterest, and I just recently started a blog. (wink) Some would say that I am pretty well “plugged in” to social media. Still, there are many sites that I have yet to venture into: twitter, youtube, tumblr, vine, to name a few. However, just browsing these few sites is enough for me to recognize a growing problem that is poisoning this generation. Social media has become far too influential on how we view ourselves, not just our friends. Yes, social media is an effective tool in our day to day lives, but I fear we have become too fixated on it for less substantial reasons. Our lives have become nothing more than our next stop on the computer. Even as I write this, my attention is caught between my laptop and the notifications popping up on my phone screen. Our generation is becoming too dependent on social media and it is severely affecting our self-esteem, as well as the way we esteem our interaction with others.
Although the power of the internet has given us the opportunity to tap into the world’s limitless knowledge and wonder, we have chosen to squander this ability by obsessing over the rich and glamorous. With this eternal wealth of information, we decide to fill our heads with every last detail of our idol’s lives. Stalking is no longer an issue, but more of a household fixation. We see no problem in creating a false, one-sided relationship with some foreign figure because we admire their talent, personality, sense of humor, or - here’s the big one - their unbelievably good looks. Simply put, man was not created to idolize man.
That is what famous people are - human. Yes, they are funny, but so are the people you have right in front of you. I heard once, long before social media, that when you thought someone had a great personality you asked them to be your friend in real life. This is what we should be focusing on: real life. We are gaining nothing by listening to a youtuber talk to us through a screen. We seem to forget that those youtubers are also alone, staring at a screen. We have fabricated the idea that these people matter to us, that they understand us and that they are our friends, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. Our generation is starving itself of real, human interaction. We depend on the famous; they provide us with a sense of comfort requiring minimal effort on our part. They make us feel welcome with their winning personalities, and shout outs to “all my fans!” We convince ourselves of their love, and we lose sight of our value beyond their eyes. Our self-esteem becomes deeply linked to the actions of our idol.
Every human wants to feel important, we want to know we left a mark on this world. We see celebrities as the short cut to immortality - if I can only get them to notice me, maybe others will notice me, then I will be important. But we fail to examine what kind of mark that celebrity is actually forming. Will it really last? Is it really helpful? Many don’t care what kind of mark they have left, as long as other people know they are there. Much of the famous live under the philosophy of quantity over quality and, just like politicians, they make it all about what the followers want. We as fans have crafted them and build them up to be our Greek gods; without our prayers, they would cease to exist. Their mark on the world is written in pencil; their claim to fame has no substance. Their lazy example of influence has proven detrimental to our ideals. We mimic their personalities, repost theirs jokes, and resort to stealing their content just to feel popular.
I found myself as a victim of these tactics when I decided to look up a music video my friend and I made for fun. As I looked on youtube, I found a video with the same title which turned out to be our exact video downloaded and re-uploaded by another user. While inspecting this youtuber, I found out their whole page was nothing more than the plagiarized videos of others. This girl clearly enjoyed this videos, but her main concern was how viewers would associate that entertainment with herself. Instead of crafting our own ideas to share, we seize the path that was already proven successful. We forget our own potential and creativity. We can’t believe in ourselves enough to try something new. The influence of the media-famous is proving detrimental to our confidence.
How we view ourselves next to our peers can be more influential than the opinion of a celebrity. I was just recently introduced to the term “The Curator Affect.” A curator of a museum is charged with the duty of selecting a body of work for an exhibit. They pick only the best works that fit the image they are trying to create, and simply omit the rest. This is how many choose to handle social media. We pick the coolest moments in our lives and the selfies that look the best. We find the small things that match the life we want to personify, and that is what we chose to post. I watched a video a while ago that perfectly captured this concept. While browsing social media, a man was discouraged by the fulfilling lives he saw his friends living via their facebook posts. His life was falling apart around him. But when he decided to fabricate a more positive status update, he realized people responded more acceptingly. He presented only the best, so he could match up with those around him.
But he, like most of us, failed to realize that that tactic goes both ways. Your friend who posts a new hiking picture every weekend may have gone on one hike last summer, and chosen to spread the photos out slowly. Your incredibly photogenic crush probably took twenty selfies before choosing to post the one you see on your feed. Nobody’s life is perfect, not even your perfect-looking friends on facebook. With the filters social media creates, we become blindsided by only our own flaws. We lose hope in the shadow of our mundane lives. Our self-assurance dwindles as we gawk at the empty status box, racking our brains for any moment of adventure that graced us that day. While on the other side of the computer our friends are doing the exact same thing.
But how can we fix this? Looking on the bright side of life is never a bad thing, but I hardly think that is what we are trying to do. Social media is not about convincing ourselves of our importance and success, but rather showing it off to others. We flaunt our victories for the whole world to see, while we still hide and hate our failures. This is a misguided tactic. I truly believe happiness is not about being right, but happiness is about accepting your wrongs. We will never be happy with ourselves if we are dependent on the approval of others. So, the way to fix this social media problem is to simply care less about it. It does not matter if everyone knows your successes, as long as you feel accomplished with yourself, or feel determined to improve next time. “Likes” can not replace the crucial aspect of self-confidence.
Furthering problems with social media include how it has consumed all our time. The pressure to look good on social media has become a daily priority in many peoples lives, and too often in mine. Although most do not check their apps for more than a few minutes at a time, if we added up all the time spent on all the different sites, at all the different moments in the day, the numbers would not seem so small. But what is really the point of it? We are too caught up in updating to see the lack of value that such routines have. If I were to check instagram, then facebook, then pinterest, recheck instagram, then make one more stop to facebook--what do I have to show for it other than a wasted fifteen minutes? Fifteen minutes that could have been used to draw a picture, or meet with a friend, or start the english paper I have due the next day. . .
Whether I am just checking in or actually fabricating a post, the time is equally misspent. Through social media, we see a chance to recreate ourselves every hour. We focus on new ways to better ourselves without actually living our lives. We really must ask ourselves what the point is in updating a statue twenty times a day. Nothing but self-promotion; we are abusing our ability to show off. Social media is teaching us that self promotion is an important activity, and it has blinded us to the rest of the world. We are constantly fixated on our next selfie, and fail to think of more valuable things around us, the more valuable ways to spend our time. We should be focusing more on promoting the good in the world, but because we have created a life line leading to social media, we can only focus on ourselves. Because our confidence is constantly falling short, our time is wasted with trying to building it back up again on line.
Finally, social media has caused us to become reliant on others of the wrong reasons. We see their success and even when we mindlessly like their posts, on the inside, we are trying to hide the feelings of envy and self-doubt. We rely on our friends for complements rather than conversations, and it has lead many to depression and heartache. The like button was born of good intentions, but has been shaped into a tirent. It has cut out any need for conversation or interaction. Imagine if every time you met up with your friend you simply responded with a thumps-up, and then walked away. It is impolite and useless, but nonetheless we still thrive off its existence. Everything we post, every picture we take, everything we say, is only deemed worthy by the number of likes it gets. Our own ideas becomes useless to us if others will not except them.
We fixate every moment we have to trying to appease the like button. We are constantly reshaping our opinions to match those of the popular point of view, regardless of what we actually knew about the issue before. Our only interaction with our “friends” comes from the desire for compliments. It’s not just in the virtual world where this occurs; as we become more dependent on social media for confidence, we are constantly looking towards those around us for praise as well. We “fish for compliments” and resort to insulting ourselves, just to get someone to contradict us. We check our instagram every two minutes to see if a new like popped up. Without these meaningless notions of acceptance, we fall into a trap of self-doubt, and convince ourselves the only thing to do is change ourselves. But that is not what needs to be changed.
Hidden within the ever lengthening news feed of social media is the greatest threat to the self-esteem of our generation. Beyond the confines of the internet, each of us has the potential to be something great. But honestly, you should not have to take my word for this, I am just some random girl writing a paper that you are probably reading on a computer. We put too much faith in what the world is saying, or how the world will see us. I do this nearly every morning when doing my hair or picking an outfit. I look in the mirror not at myself, but at the person the world might rip apart. We spend too much energy calculating all of our moves to "win" in their eyes: be prettier, be funnier, get their attention, have cooler stuff, do cooler things, say something they will like, fit in - we treat ourselves as guilty until they prove otherwise.
I cannot fix this problem for you. Turning to a news article for reassurance will only further the problem, and deepen the addiction. My only goal is to open your eyes to the different ways you are being manipulated by social media. It is time to step away from the computer and disconnect for awhile. We need to see beyond the tricks of social media: the misguided claims to fame, the filters of the curator affect, and the demands of complements and acceptance. We need to venture into the world beyond the screen, and discover how incredible our lives can be. We need to fix the problem ourselves, for ourselves.
